Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
so let's talk penis.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
