so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
