But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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