I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
