i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
