I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Success! We fucked roommates!
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
