Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
