pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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