I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
