I like my sex mixed with concussions.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
