I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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