Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
