This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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