maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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