What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
