I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Randomize
