That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
