If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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