And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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