three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
