You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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