i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
you're hired as official boob wrangler
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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