I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize