Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
