i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
her facebook's as public as her vagina
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
