ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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