there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
