Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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