I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
