We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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