Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
