So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
