I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I skipped work to stalk him.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
