Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
