I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
