Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
