He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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