is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
