I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize