She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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