Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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