I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
