i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i already hear my dad disowning me
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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