I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
i think im in europe. pls send help
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
