Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
