So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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