btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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