In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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