Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
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