WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
