You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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