There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
