you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
