she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Randomize
