Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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