ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
