Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
If I die, sorry about rent.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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