i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
