"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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