I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
